I thought of you when I read this quote from “Courage: The Joy of Living Dangerously (Osho Insights for a New Way of Living)” by Osho –

“Don’t call it uncertainty—call it wonder. Don’t call it insecurity—call it freedom   I am not here to give you a dogma—a dogma makes one certain. I am not here to give you any promise for the future—any promise for the future makes one secure. I am here simply to make you alert and aware—that is, to be here now, with all the insecurity that life is, with all the uncertainty that life is, with all the danger that life is. I know you come here seeking some certainty, some creed, some “ism,”somewhere to belong to, someone to rely upon. You come here out of your fear. You are searching for a sort of beautiful imprisonment—so that you can live without any awareness. I would like to make you more insecure, more uncertain—because that’s how life is, that’s how God is. When there is more insecurity and more danger, the only way to respond to it is by awareness. There are two possibilities. Either you close your eyes and become dogmatic, become a Christian or a Hindu or a Mohammedan …then you become like an ostrich. It doesn’t change life; it simply closes your eyes. It simply makes you stupid, it simply makes you unintelligent. In your unintelligence you feel secure—all idiots feel secure. In fact, only idiots feel secure. A really alive man will always feel insecure. What security can there be? Life is not a mechanical process; it cannot be certain. It is an unpredictable mystery. Nobody knows what is going to happen the next moment. Not even God that you think resides somewhere in the seventh heaven, not even he—if he is there—not even he knows what is going to happen! …because if he knows what is going to happen then life is just bogus, then everything is written beforehand, then everything is destined beforehand. How can he know what is going to happen next, if the future is open? If God knows what is going to happen the next moment, then life is just a dead, mechanical process. Then there is no freedom, and how can life exist without freedom? Then there is no possibility to grow or not to grow. If everything is predestined, then there is no glory, no grandeur. Then you are just robots. No, nothing is secure. That is my message. Nothing can be secure, because a secure life will be worse than death. Nothing is certain. Life is full of uncertainties, full of surprises—that is its beauty! You can never come to a moment when you can say, “Now I am certain.”When you say you are certain, you simply declare your death; you have committed suicide. Life goes on moving with a thousand and one uncertainties. That’s its freedom. Don’t call it insecurity. I can understand why mind calls freedom “insecurity.”…Have you lived in a jail for a few months or a few years? If you have lived in a jail for a few years, when the day of release comes, the prisoner starts feeling uncertain about the future. Everything was certain in the jail; everything was dead routine. His food was supplied, protection was given to him; there was no fear that he would be hungry next day and there would be no food—nothing like that, everything was certain. Now, suddenly, after many years the jailer comes and says to him, “Now you are going to be released.”He starts trembling. Outside the walls of the prison, again there will be uncertainties; again he will have to seek, search; again he will have to live in freedom. Freedom creates fear. People talk about freedom, but they are afraid. And a man is not yet a man if he is afraid of freedom. I give you freedom; I don’t give you security. I give you understanding; I don’t give you knowledge. Knowledge will make you certain. If I can give you a formula, a set formula, that there is a God and there is a Holy Ghost and there is an only begotten son, Jesus; there is hell and heaven, and these are the good acts and these are the bad acts; do the sin and you will be in hell, do what I call the virtuous acts and you will be in heaven—finished!—then you are certain. That’s why so many people have chosen to be Christians, to be Hindus, to be Mohammedans, to be Jainas—they don’t want freedom, they want fixed formulas. A man was dying—suddenly, in an accident on a road. Nobody knew that he was a Jew, so a priest was called, a Catholic priest. He leaned close to the man—and the man was dying, in the last throes of death—and the priest said, “Do you believe in the Trinity of God the Father, the Holy Ghost, and the son Jesus?”The man opened his eyes and he said, “Look, here I am dying—and he is talking riddles!”When death knocks at your door, all your certainties will be simply riddles and foolish. Don’t cling to any certainty. Life is uncertain—its very nature is uncertain. And an intelligent man always remains uncertain. This very readiness to remain in uncertainty is courage. This very readiness to be in uncertainty is trust. An intelligent person is one who remains alert whatsoever the situation—and responds to it with his whole heart. Not that he knows what is going to happen, not that he knows, “Do this and that will happen.”Life is not a science; it is not a cause-and-effect chain. Heat the water to a hundred degrees and it evaporates—it is a certainty. But in real life, nothing is certain like that. Each individual is a freedom, an unknown freedom. It is impossible to predict, impossible to expect. One has to live in awareness and in understanding. You come to me seeking knowledge; you want set formulas so that you can cling to them. I don’t give you any. In fact, if you have any, I take them away! By and by, I destroy your certainty; by and by, I make you more and more hesitant; by and by, I make you more and more insecure. That is the only thing that has to be done. That’s the only thing a Master needs to do!—to leave you in total freedom. In total freedom, with all the possibilities opening, nothing fixed …you will have to be aware—nothing else is possible. This is what I call understanding. If you understand, insecurity is an intrinsic part of life—and good that it is so, because it makes life a freedom, it makes life a continuous surprise. One never knows what is going to happen. It keeps you continuously in wonder. Don’t call it uncertainty—call it wonder. Don’t call it insecurity—call it freedom.”

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